Empaths Beware: What you feel from others is not always conscious!

[Elise Lebeau]

As an Empath, we can feel what other people's emotions.
Some of us are also Telepaths, meaning that we can pick up on people's thoughts as well.

In both cases, it's critical to be aware that what we read is not always conscious in the other person's mind.

So what does that mean for us?
Example 1
Let's say you are picking up on a feeling of jealousy from your best friend. That reading could make you feel resentful or suspicious of your friend's behavior. Suddenly, your interpretation of her actions is tainted by this negative perspective.

But what if she's not consciously aware that she's jealous of you? And if she was aware of it, she'd do everything she can to work it out and move past this? Doesn't that make the whole thing a lot more positive?

Example 2
Your boyfriend feels very physically attracted to someone at his work, but it's unconscious. If you're not careful, you might read too much into this and think that he's having an affair! But he's not aware of this. And he would never act on this attraction. It's just an unconscious feeling that we all feel at some point or other...

The unconscious mind plays a very important role in our life: it is used as a storage and processing facility for things that you are not currently ready to deal with at the conscious level (either it would hurt you, or you don't have a solution yet, or it's still evolving, etc.). So if you're reading unsconsicous thoughts, beware of what you choose to do with them.


So what can we do about this?
1) When you are reading someone, clarify in your own mind what you want to read. Conscious only? Conscious + Unconscious?

2) When you are talking to someone about your reading, explain to them that some of this might be unconscious.

3) If you are unsure about whether or not something is conscious, ask them how they feel before you jump with your reading. They will let you know right away of what they are aware consciously! Go on from there.

4) If you feel the unconscious thoughts are relevant but they're not quite ready yet, give a hint about the tricky topic, instead of blurting out the whole thing. People feel more empowered when you accompany them on their path of understanding, as opposed to dumping it all in front of them.

Also, as a general rule I only read people with whom I am working professionally or who have asked for my opinion (like on this forum). Reading your family and friends is more likely to cause confusion when you are not very experienced in deciphering the conscious from the unconscious thoughts.
PS: I must confess that I still stray away from this rule once in a while and I always regret it!

In love
Elise

[Ameera]

I seem to have a knack for reading people's unconscious thoughts and motivations. This is very true advice and something I do:

4) If you feel the unconscious thoughts are relevant but they're not quite ready yet, give a hint about the tricky topic, instead of blurting out the whole thing. People feel more empowered when you accompany them on their path of understanding, as opposed to dumping it all in front of them.

I like to ask people questions that lead them on a journey of self discovery, but experience has taught me that some people DO NOT want to take this journey, so I dont even ask everyone these "leading" questions.

Some people I just listen quietly and not my reading and keep the information to myself. I used to give people information and then become very surprised when they attacked me! Now I know that if I am going to share an unconscious thought, I run the risk of getting a very negative response. So I proceed w/ caution :)

[Tony Irwin]

Yeah this is really good advice - I also like how in example 1 you show how we can put a positive spin on a situation.

When I'm just "picking up" stuff without meaning to it's very often what's going on the back ground of that person's life. I especially find that I experience these feelings as though they were my own but inexplicably strong.

When I'm talking face to face to someone and just being friendly and open to them and reading their body language and responding to them as anyone else might, I find that their emotions are much more how they feel about what they're talking about just now, or conscious worries or issues that are in the foreground of their mind and almost on the tip of their tongue to talk about. It's also feels much more like "reading" someone's emotions rather than experiencing them as my own. I guess in a face to face conversation I'm much more focused and so limit myself as you suggest